Yesterday I decided to re-pot my plants because they were starting to grow so well. I also bought new plants as well. There’s something about growing them that relaxes me. Maybe it’s because I am good at it. Makes part of my life feel like a mini “success story”.
While outside, I had some neighbors who are at pluses and minuses with each other. Seriously, fighting over a parking spot…really guys? I hate petty ignorances. Especially when people want me to take sides. I just let the guys have it out while I continued to pot my plants.
I finally figured out that I want a camera AND a flat screen TV. Preferably a 32″; preferably an LG. I’m usually not picky by nature, but I do feel the need to have good quality in some areas of my life. I like LG.
While planting, I also decided that it was time that I just did something that I actually want to do. I wonder if Stephen- dearest friend of mine- is still interested in going to El Salvador to do the paintings in his parents’ house. I still really want to do that.
There is just so much to life to NOT live it. It’s hard not being a cookie cutter female. It’s especially hard being told that you’re good at something so you just…get…stuck…doing it. That’s where I am now. That’s not to say that I don’t enjoy parts of my life. But who wants to live their life to have their tombstone say “She lived, but not to her fullest”, or “She loved MOST of her life”. That would totally suck.
I seem to quietly rebel at society by day and openly scream at her as the afternoon wanes. I don’t want to live the expected life. I want to live the adventurous, exciting, page-turning life. The kind that you write home about. The one your friends are jealous of. I’m over being the jealous one.
I remember when I was selecting my plants to bring home. I walked around the stands and aisles of plants for nearly twenty minutes. I picked out three that were in okay shape: lots of yellowed leaves, on clearance, but still standing. That’s about how would describe myself right now. I’m pushing myself amidst the over abundance of muck. I have some yellowing and dry patches to my soul. I’m a bit sun-dried by some anger and resentment…but I’m still here. And if I am given he right chance and set of circumstances, I will flourish. I have to. It is my God-given right to breathe, live and pass that life on for others to learn about and from.